What's Wrong with Jim?: Being Stubborn with Goals but Flexible with Personalities
If you haven’t read my previous post about the MeKubi Method and done the 16 personalities assessment, I highly suggest it before moving on.
If you have, then you somewhat know who “Jim¹” is. Jim is a really nice co-worker that is almost the complete opposite of you. Whatever you do, he decides to do…. NOT THAT. You butt heads very frequently and you openly curse his name on the drive home. You probably spend way too much time thinking about Jim and even his presence drains you. If you are a very organized person, and thrive on time management, he doesn’t, and for some crazy ass reason he still has a job and hits his yearly goals. HOW ON EARTH IS THIS POSSIBLE?!!!
Earliest in my career, I ran into ALOT of “Jims”. My ENTJ personality profile dictates that we can be rather intolerant, stubborn and impatient. It was my way or the highway and I was openly unsupportive of anyone that strayed from my vision. I didn’t know how to work with alternate personality types, and just wanted to ship my detractors off to a deserted island. Buhbye! But when you are working at the bottom of the totem pole, you don’t have the ability to send people packing. Nor do you have the oversight to understand why you can’t just obliterate the opposition. So for the unforeseeable future, you are stuck working with Jim.
WHY DO WE NEED JIM?
Companies are well thought out recipes with exact and precise measurements coming together . Let’s take baking soda for example. By itself it is NASTY. It’s strangely salty and comes in that box that feels weirdly moist when it’s been sitting in the fridge too long. It soaks up all those weird fridge fish smells², but in a cake, YOU NEED IT. Without it, the cake lacks the chemical reaction necessary to spark it into fluffiness. Jim and many other people I know are that baking soda and whether you like it or not, you need them.
Like the cake and it’s ingredients, when many different personalities come together in a work environment, it creates a reaction. Sometimes the reaction is necessary for success otherwise it’s just an echo chamber of yes men patting each other on the backs about the same lame-ass ideas over and over again. Strength lies in bringing together differences not similarities.
16 PERSONALITIES
In order to best work with “Jim”, I suggest studying all 16 personality profiles. Find out what makes Jim and all his little baking soda buddies tick. And then adjust your own style to accommodate the fact that not every one is exactly like you. Here’s a visual that briefly explains how my ENTJ personality profile is different than others. You should take your personality profile and map out everyone you work with.
Extrovert, INtuition, Thinking, and Judging.
Jim is the exact opposite of myself at ISFP. So every point below will be talking about the polar opposite of an ENTJ.
EXTROVERT VS INTROVERT - My fast paced Extroverted nature is exhausting to Introverts who need time to internalize and talk through solutions in their head. So I know that post meetings Jim might need time to independently re-process the info. I also need to give him ample time away from me, otherwise he might want to stab me in the face with a pencil when I haven’t shut up for 1.5 consecutive hours.
INTUITION VS SENSING - Being an Intuitive, I love exploring open ended projects and investigating unseen possibilities. The more ambiguous the project, the wilder my imagination goes and subsequently the more terrified Jim looks. I know that if I work with a Sensor that he needs verifiable facts and tangible information. I need to explore and narrow down my crazy to actions that are realistic and actionable.
THINKING VS FEELING - Being a strong Thinker I know that my decision making skills can be seen as cold and heartless by someone that is a Feeler. So I need to consider Jim’s personal values and remember that he’s mindful of others in his decision making processes. I’ve also realized that he invests a lot of emotion into his work, so I need to cull the comments that come across as jerk-ish.
JUDGING VS PERCEIVING - Being a Judger, I have a tendency to make these crazy intensive pre-program launch plans. Everything in my life has a plan, and I waste zero time attacking and moving the plan forward. When working with a Perceiver, I need to make sure I leave open ended options so Jim can exercise his spontaneous nature. You can’t shackle him in with tight rules that feel like project prison.
BE FLEXIBLE
Navigating personalities and changing how you work with people is incredibly hard. How do you change something so ingrained in yourself? And why should you bother to be the one to change?
Whelp, if you don’t want to change, here are your new solutions:
1) Remain a forever tortured soul by doing exactly nothing. You won’t grow as a person and you’re resolved that there’s no reason to make any changes.
2) You can wait until Jim and everyone like him leaves the company. HA. Good luck with this one.
3) You can leave on your own and find a place where every one is just like you and all your needs are magically met.
That seems easy, right? You don’t have to put in extra effort and you can keep doing whatever you want to do. Except, no matter where you go, there will ALWAYS be more Jims. And one day, those Jims will be your boss, an executive team member, or a board member with the power to decide your future.
Being your best self doesn’t mean everyone needs to accept you unconditionally. It means you use the best qualities of yourself to rise above the rest. People fail because they build up a wall and refuse to acknowledge the necessity for self improvement. Those people consider themselves immutable and refuse to bend to even the strongest winds. The walls that refuse to give an inch in a storm inevitably fall first. Don’t let your self confidence turn into unflinching rigidity that refuses to ebb and flow with the course of business. Marriages and friendships thrive on give and take, and so should work relationships. Be stubborn about your goals, but flexible with personalities.
¹ For all intents and purposes the name Jim describes a fictional person. I don’t know many Jims and the ones I do know, are awesome people, so this “Jim” has no comparison to those “Jims”. And if your name is Jim, I’m sorry, I’m sure you are not a raging idiot like this Jim. I also apologizing for saying Jim 6 times in 3 sentences. Make that 7.
² Please note, I do not bake my cakes with the weird stinky baking soda from the fridge. So if you know me in real life, please don’t be afraid to eat my baked goods. I probably bought them anyways… ;P